I decided this year to be the good mommy and make little Valentine's bags for Hunter's school party. To take it one step further, I also decided to be a good manager-type and made cupcakes for my team. I used this recipe and I am so impressed with myself. Cupcakes and frosting from scratch. Go me.
Are you watching the Super Bowl today? Who are you watching it with, and which team do you want to win?
Jason and I always intend on watching the Super Bowl together, but somehow something always distracts us, and we never see the whole thing. This year, I fully plan on watching it all (and making him watch it with me) and rooting shamelessly for the Giants. I could really care less about either team, but I'm tired of the Patriots winning, and a co-worker is a huge Pats fan, so it would be fun to give him shit about them losing. To the Giants. So. Go Giants!
And so life got strange. I messed things up, tried to put them back together and realized that's not an easy process. Broken hearts and shattered trusts can't be mended overnight, it seems. I suppose it's pointless to hope that it could, but if I hadn't had hope, I don't know where I'd be right now. Instead, I clung to it fiercely, and I lost a little here, gained a little there, and came through it. Scarred, sure, but the point is: we're still here.
With all the stress has come 20 unwelcome pounds back onto my body. I'm trying to combat that now, and fearing that I'll never lose them again, plus the other 20 I never bothered to lose before. LA Weight Loss has gone out of business, but it isn't like I really need a center to lose weight: I have the tools, I just need the will. I'm seeing a therapist, Janet, and while my husband disagrees, she and I are going through treatment options for food addiction. Coming to terms with the term food addict is a lot more difficult than I expected: I know I'm an addict. I don't question the fact of it, but the realization of what that means exactly is so much bigger than I can get my head around. I told mu the other day that things would be so much simpler if I was just an alcoholic. While I was joking (maybe...), I think there's some truth to that: I don't have to drink, but I do have to eat. Temptation, confusion, guilt -- these things will always be a part of my life because they will always be a part of food.
I am trying to come to terms with addiction; how to fight it, how to recognize it, how to overcome it. Step number one is admitting it's there, and that I've done. I'm not sure what step number two is just yet: Instead of doing anything, I bitch and moan, then have another cookie.
So, instead, let's start with small things. Vox, welcome back into my life, especially since I can email you posts from work. I've missed having an outlet so much and I didn't realize it. Next, I'm going to once again start faithfully packing lunches and snacks for work. As part of that, I am going to keep a food journal and carefully follow portions and servings on the LAWL plan I know so well.
Here's hoping.
Work has restricted access to "social and networking" sites, VOX included,
and I miss being able to post. So I'm testing this: Posting via gmail.
Hello?
And here is our family picture as well.
My dear vox, I am so sorry I've neglected you so. I promise to try to do better by you.
I love my boy.
Oh my gosh, it's been 3,000 years since I've signed into vox. Did anyone notice? Probably not.
I'm going to see my lovely mu very soon (but not soon enough), and I can't wait. I'm in such a need of a vacation - my life has gotten rough lately. There's entirely too much drama going on, and some R&R and shopping with my favorite girl is sorely needed. I am so excited.
In other news, I recently purchased a Sidekick, which I love, except that the camera is less than grand. In order to start trying to figure it out more, you may see some grainy pictures posted. Hopefully they'll get better with time.
I've missed you, darling vox. Nice to see you again.
My potty traiing days are coming to a close. Hunter's doctor had told me to just not pressure him, and that one day he'd decide to go potty on his own. I don't think I really believed her - I figured I'd deal with it at some point, and have kept putting it off. As it turns out, Saturday morning Hunter said "I want to go to the potty!" and he did. With no problem. AMAZING.
Huzzah!
My life has gotten weird lately. It's been a good weird for me, though. I feel like ... I don't know. I feel like it's all about ME right now, and it hasn't been about me in a long, long time. I feel empowered and sexy and GOOD.
I weigh less than 200 pounds for the first time in over 10 years. For the first time, I believe it, too. I think I'm finally starting to lose the fat girl mentality. It's so exciting.
Work is going well. I think I've finally gotten it through to these people that I'm the boss. I threatened them with their lives yesterday: AND IT WORKED. Talk about hotness.
I am being drug out camping this weekend. Can I just tell you how this does not thrill me? My idea of "roughing it" is a hotel room. I am doing this for my husband; I just hope he appreciates it. Fortunately, we'll be camping on Anastasia Island, and there are quite a few malls nearby. I plan on escaping. Hells yeah.
Audio: Show us the most embarrassing album in your collection.
Inspired by Jay.
If that isn't embarrassing, I don't know what is.
Maybe the fact that I saw them live? Hey, it was 1989 and I was 11. They rocked.
on happy sucky face day!